Chronicles: the voice, found

My very first Sunday Scribblings.

Anna Lou came up to her the morning after the concert and just said she had noticed her, and thought she was beautiful. She was unsure as to whether Anna Lou was referring to her inner or outer beauty, but wasn’t it a nice thing to say? She felt shy and slightly embarrassed and didn’t quite know how to respond, so she simply said she had been blown away by Anna Lou’s voice the night before. Anna Lou just smiled and told her about the voice workshop she was hosting later that day and invited her to come along.

Against her natural instinct she decided to go. Her relationship with her voice had never been a very secure or happy one. She even felt uncomfortable having to say her name in front of people. Which of course they had to do. Then there was just… god… Anna Lou taught them some breathing techniques, and how to incorporate sound into them. She instructed them to sit on their haunches, to lean forward. And they started making sounds on each exhalation.

She thought she was doing quite well. But then Anna Lou came up behind her and first gently “shook” her back, and then held it. And suddenly there was this incredible release, almost like throwing up. She started crying. Felt so fucking small. And Anna Lou sat down in front of her and held her hands and as they looked into each others eyes, they sounded together. How else could it be described?

With tears streaming down her face her voice suddenly felt incredibly strong and powerful. It could finally be heard, for the first time. Afterwards Anna Lou said that she was quite shocked by the intensity and that she believed there was a lot of strength hiding inside. She felt honoured to have been there.

And she? She felt shaky and weak, but also overcome by a sense of something profound having taken place, of a fundamental shift. And a need to acknowledge the experience, and to use it. A need to trust herself more.

Photo by Adam Dorman