Tuesday, March 6

SPC: fragmented


This month's theme is a real challenge for me; the idea of using online tools to manipulate images just doesn't excite me that much. But I do like the Hockney-izer, because it illustrates quite nicely how fragmented I often feel.

Instead of seeing myself as a whole I often view my body as a completely separate entity to my mind. This isn't perhaps that unusual, but I also tend to divide my mind into different fragments. This schism manifests in different ways, but is particularly evident whenever I'm feeling negative about something.

Like when I'm meditating and I find my mind wandering onto completely mindless topics. Usually I try to very gently steer myself back on track, but there are times when I angrily think: "why are you doing that? stop thinking about what you're gonna have for dinner, and focus!" The question is who is this "you" I'm telling off? Isn't that me? Of course. But then who is doing the telling off? And as long as I keep having inner conflicts like these I wonder whether I will ever feel completely serene and at peace.

One of the reasons I like yoga is that even at my level I can see evidence of it starting to bring my mind and body closer together, and more importantly because it feels like a form of moving meditation it is really helping to unite the fragments in my mind. Interestingly enough the word "yoga" comes from the Sanskrit root yuj, which means "to join" or "to yoke". Mmmm... there is a wonderful promise there...

17 comments:

acumamakiki said...

I'm with you, not loving this month's theme. I wish I liked yoga more especially because I have very powerful, physical reactions every time I practice.

sognatrice said...

I had trouble meditating for a long time because of what you described; isn't yoga wonderful? Ah, and your fragments are very impressive!

bazl said...

That broke your photo up really well. The ones I tried didn't have such a nice compositional distribution.

Jeremy Stockwell said...

I like the Hockneyizer tool, too. I like that you get a different look each time it loads. Nice job!

JC said...

I love the photo, and I think you've come up with a very interesting post to go along with it. I keep saying I want to do yoga, someday maybe I'll actually do it!

luzie said...

That's a great image, and I love the matching post!

I'm also not sure yet what to make of this month's theme, but I find the hockneyizer tempting for one of the weeks to come.

BlueJude said...

Meditating is hard for everyone. Anyhoo...I like what you did with the challenge. I'm still a bit baffled over it, adn of course I've been under the weather so not in a very exploratory mood.

Bearette24 said...

The fragmented picture looks very good!

Bearette24 said...

I used to get frustrated with my wandering mind during meditation too, then someone told me, or I read somewhere, "That's why it's meditation practice, not meditation perfect." I love that.

holli said...

Amazing how much everyone dislikes this month's theme. I wonder why?

But that was a wonderful way to tie it all in with the fragmented pic - and the separation from yourself. I do the same thing. I just figure I'm a little nutty. Either that, or I give great advice and need to step outside myself from time to time so I can get some of it!

I haven't done yoga since pre-Faith. I can only imagine I would snap something at this point.

Okay, I just rambled. But I loved the way the pic flowed with the post flowed with the idea.

out.

Kamsin said...

This month's theme doesn't seem all that popular, maybe it is because it does feel all that creative, you just sort of feed the photo into the thing and don't have any control over what comes out. Anyway, I like the way your photo turned out. Maybe feeling fragmented is part of our modern disease with all its business and unconnected pieces.

LJ said...

As someone who once wrote a journal as a multiple personality, I wish you great good luck, waspgoddess. And I have the sneaking feeling that the real question IS who are you telling off.
The person who taught me to meditate, suggested using a word or mantra to bring my attention gently back. She said I might try a Zen mantra: "What am I? Don't know." or
she said you could use "coca cola." It doesn't really matter.
I wish you enough serenity to pull the fragments back together now and then.

Tammy said...

Great minds think alike but I'm liking what you did even before you fragmented ;)

Vanessa said...

this is beautiful!
and I thought that exact same thing when I saw the Hockney-izer link!!
ah but don't all our warped and wonderful bits make a lovely whole?!
Vx

rose colored glasses said...

This looks like a magazine picture! It is great. I too love yoga. It is so powerful.

meredith said...

I like this post, I know how you feel. There are so many times when I have trouble focusing, except sometimes when I am writing. I took some yoga classes a long time ago, and I would like to again.

Vedrana M. said...

interesting portrait and story about it..beautiful :)